The Price of Immortality
by MugglehalfBorn
Summary: Merlin is dying. Arthur admits his feelings for his man servant.
1. Immortality

FANFICTION Part 1:

Arthur- *eyes widen* "Sorcery…*follows the mysterious figures further*

Merlin and Finna stumbled through the forest.

They had just been attacked by Morgana's men and were fleeing from the area.

Merlin had been shot with an arrow and he was losing blood quickly. He withdrew his sword and used it to help him walk through the shrubs without tripping over the tree roots and other clear obstacles. He was thankful that he had brought the sword with him and thankful for Finna's support as she guided him to a safe place. Morgana's men were surely gaining on them and would probably soon reach them. Merlin had a bad feeling about this whole situation.

Arthur continued on wondering what this old woman wanted to do to his poor servant. He didn't want to believe that Merlin had anything to do with sorcery but he also didn't want to lose his friend either. It had appeared that Merlin had been shot as he stumbled through the trees ahead of him. Arthur had to stop himself from simply running out towards his servant to aid him, after all he didn't really know this sorceress, she could attack him and then kill merlin also. He didn't want to take that risk.

Finna rested Merlin down against a tree trunk "I'll go check if it's safe" she said softly and headed towards a distant tower in an opposite direction that descended down a steep but manageable slope.

Merlin rested his head on his sword and looked out at the direction Finna was heading.

He lay his hand on his wound and was breathing heavily from the short ascend to this 'safe' place Finna described to him. He knew that he should heal himself with his magic, however he knew that he had already become too weak to do so and that they didn't have a lot of time before Morgana's men caught up with them. _If gauis could see me now _he thought and grinned. He knew that this was most likely Karma for ignoring Gauis and his wisdom of 'mysterious travellers'. The wound wasn't that bad. Though it had surprised him to see an arrow clearly obtruding from his side.

Merlin closed his eyes and shifted himself slightly on the leaf covered ground and tried to keep himself awake for Finna's sake. It wouldn't be long now.

Arthur quickly made his way to his friend's side. "Merlin! Hey I'm going to get you out of here, okay?" When there was no clear response from his friend he immediately tried to haul him up to his feet. He stopped suddenly when he saw the blood on his hands and the blood soaking Merlin's tunic. His heart lurched in a sudden realisation that Merlin had been fatally wounded.

Merlin's eyes flicked open slightly "Arthur?" He said effortlessly and then opened his eyes wider in a more alertness, the sword he was leaning on dropped from his grip to the ground. "Arthur!" he croaked again.

"Don't worry o-okay!? I'll get you safe!"

Arthur bent down to pick up his servant, one arm under his legs and around his mid-back. He held him bridal style and quickly made his way to his horse.

Merlin groaned at the unexpected movement. "Arthur!" His head dropped and his eyes opened and closed as he was being pulled into sleeping. "Leave me" he said as Arthur carried him limp, even though he could have probably tried to stand on his own.

"I can't leave you with her! She'll kill you!" Arthur protested and pulled him back into his arms protectively. "I can't bear to lose you…" Tears began to leak from his eyes.

Merlin laughed and smiled "Are you going to cry.." then he squirmed in pain at his wound. "It's okay Arthur.." he breathed deeply and said in reinforcement at the quick movement Arthur had made and his panicked expression. "Leave me, I'm fine" he said in his most-un sarcastic voice.

Arthur shook his head in stubbornness. "Then I will stay…" he sobbed and held onto Merlin's cold weak body.

"Thank you" Merlin replied and cuddled up to Arthur's side, his head resting on his lap. Though it was not clear to Arthur, he was panicking. Arthur couldn't be here, he couldn't be HERE! He would surely find out his secret if they didn't leave. There was also the threat of Morgana's men fast approaching that Arthur knew nothing about. He didn't want to be the reason for Arthur's death. He didn't want to have to deal with any of it ever again. Death had never been so welcoming. Though he knew that it wasn't his destiny to die here…maybe. As he lay in Arthur's arms he realised that this was all he had ever wanted. He may not admit it but it was the happiest he had felt in a long time, even though his death was fast approaching.

He could feel himself dying.

He could feel himself losing strength.

After All these years fighting for his freedom and saving Arthur' life while keeping his secret hidden, he was going to die from an arrow wound.

It was a pathetic defeat for the all mighty Emrys.

Though Merlin found it a satisfying death that would suffice for himself. As Merlin, the loyal servant of the Biggest Royal Prince Arthur. He knew that he wasn't a normal being. Though if this was his time. If this was his destiny then he would gladly accept it with open arms.

It was true that his life in Camelot was far from luxury. Everything he ever did was for Arthur and that had been something that he had been focused on for years now. At times he didn't know how to handle it, how to deal with his over-looming destiny that crushed him.

It was like he was screaming and no one could hear.

He almost felt ashamed that someone could be so important that without them he felt like nothing.

Arthur could never understand how much it hurts.

He felt hopeless, like nothing could save him. Death was greeting him and the darkness was descending upon him. He could hear Arthur's sobs and feel his warmth.

And when it's over and it's gone, you almost wish that you could have all that bad stuff back, so you could have the good. Though Merlin knew that he had run out of time. The wish to live was no longer strong enough to keep him going.

What did he have to live for?

Everyone that he had ever cared about had died.

Though Gauis and Arthur was still with him.

Gwen.

The knights.

The Great Dragon and the people of Camelot.

They believed in him.

They trusted him. Though only a few of them knew him for who he really was.

His true identity.

Dragon Lord.

Warlock.

Sorcerer…

What was he going to do?

He had decided in that moment that he would rest and die peacefully. However a part of him wouldn't let him sleep. It was as if the world around him wouldn't let him die.

As if he were immortal.

That was the day when Merlin had realised that he was immortal.

That like magic itself, he could never die.

His heart lurched at the thought and he felt dizzy once more.

How could of no one told him. Had they known?

Had the Great Dragon known?

Was it possible to be immortal?

Was there a reason for his immortality?

He laid against Arthur and closed his eyes once more, his eyes lids flickering closed then opening again. His hand still rested on his wound and it burned continually, though he knew he wouldn't die from it. A tear rolled down his cheek. Merlin had never felt so worthless.

Maybe he had wanted to die one day. Not outlive all of his friends and those he loved. He didn't want to have to continue through life on his own...though this did explain why he had always appeared younger than his friends.

His mother had told him he was a slow grower.

He had always wondered why he was always smaller than other boys his age.

As a child he had been fed. Ealdor had enough food for everyone that lived there so you never went hungry. Though now Merlin knew that this hadn't really mattered. Over the last year he had noticed that he had grown rapidly for that time and then suddenly stopped aging all at once. He had lost his usual scrawny look and his small limbs. Now he was more muscular and his head was not so large in comparison to his body. Even his eyes seemed to reduce. He actually resembled more of the build of Arthur.

At first he had believed that all the years of carrying Arthur's chainmail, armour and useless items around the castle had caused this sudden change. Though now it was clear to see that this had probably been through his last growth spurt, the last that he would ever receive as he finished his teenage years. Though Arthur continued to age, he remained the same. The thought of this puzzled him more than ever.

Arthur whispered something in Merlin's ear quietly which sounded a bit like "I love you!"

He hoped Merlin had heard what he had said. It was vital that Merlin heard him. It was a desire that Arthur had only recognised in that moment as his friend lay dying against him.

He truly did love Merlin.

Though he had never admitted it.

Now that his friend lay so weak against him and was on his death bed it seemed the right moment to admit it. Arthur was upset and he was confused of what he should do. He was unsure of what was happening to him.

Never in his life had he felt so drawn to another person.

Truth be told he had a connection with Merlin. That had been friendship but it had seemed to evolve into being something more. It was easier to put it simply as 'love'.

There was no other way to describe it.

Merlin was slipping in and out of consciousness when he had hears Arthur's soft whispered words.

Or he thought he had

He knew that what Arthur had said was true and that he felt the same way. He had truthfully always cared for Arthur and never left his side.

Now that he knew that it was his job to keep him safe for all eternity, he knew what he had to do.

He had made a decision…

**Thanks! This is the first chapter to my new fan fic. I hope that everyone is excited for the next chapter which will be up momentarily.**

**There was a question asked of whether this chapter was based off episode 5x11 when Merlin's off with Finna. The answer to that question is yes, except Arthur followed Merlin. And no…I've kind of twisted the tale a bit because Uther is still alive and healthy and sitting on the throne of Camelot. And also since that is the case, Arthur isn't married to Gwenivere and so she is not queen yet.**

**I'm cruel so I've changed the entire plot line of Merlin, thought that's the entire reason to do so. If I do mention other things that seem rather off then feel free to tell me that I've done something wrong or pronounced something the wrong way. I may be good at English but I'm not that good all the time, so feel free to nag me about my vocab. Thanks. CHEERS.**


	2. Nothing can ever change that

Fanfiction part 2

Merlin looked up to Arthur from where he lay against him, his head resting on his legs.

"Arthur.." he breathed softly and moved his head slightly to get his attention.

"Yes?" Arthur replied quickly and looked down at Merlin intently, his blue eyes clearly visible through a grey haze that clouded his vision.

"Let's get to…Camelot" he heaved as his breath left him.

'_I'm sorry Finna'_ he thought and hoped it reached her from where she was. _'I'll come back later'_

'_It's okay Emrys' _she sent back in reply_ 'You are dying. It was only a matter of time.'_

Arthur nodded and gently lifted him up in his arms again and continued through the trees to his horse. He put Merlin in the saddle and sat behind him and they began their journey, galloping back to Camelot.

"Hold on Merlin…" Arthur pleaded and wrapped one arm around his friend's front to keep him steady.

Merlin chuckled "You know what this will look like Arthur."

His head rested on the horse, his face white and he shivered but was not cold as the sun beamed down on his back. He chuckled again at the thought of where he sat on the horse. Servants usually never sat at the front of a horse. Usually Merlin had his own horse or walked beside one.

Merlin thought of what the Knights would the knights would surely understand and ignore this by the clear state he was in, blood soaking his tunic and all.

Merlin knew that Arthur cared for him too much to just leave him behind and for that he was thankful.

"I don't care…" Arthur muttered under his breath as they bounded out of the forest towards the front gate entrance of Camelot.

Merlin chuckled once more before another strike of pain surged in his side. "Clot pole. I didn't know you cared." He managed with an added humour to his breathless voice.

Arthur ignored him as they had now arrived at the stables. He quickly swung his legs over the side of the horse and jumped to the ground. He then carefully pulled Merlin off, trying to not cause him any more pain. Holding him bridal style he ran to Gauis's chambers.

"Gauis! Gauis!" he called.

Gauis had been carefully mixing in his chambers when Arthur ran in through the door. "Arthur what w…" he stopped when he saw the familiar figure of Merlin spawned in Arthur's arms.

Merlin in that moment groaned and looked up at Arthur, his eyes shining in a clear assertion of pain.

"He's bleeding! Gauis…w-what should I do?" Arthur panicked.

Gauis swiftly moved to Arthur "Let's put him on the bed, here." He directed. "How did this happen?"

Merlin still had his hand resting on his wound and hadn't thought of removing it since they left the forest.

"I'm fine." He lied through his teeth, the pain and the lie clearly shown by his expression. The sudden thought that he had been cradled in Arthur's arms only a moment ago was exceedingly embarrassing and he blushed.

That was when Gwen rushed in to the room.

'H-he got shot by a bandit in the forest! You have to do something!" Arthur said as he placed Merlin on the bed carefully.

Arthur's eyes snapped towards Gwen a moment later. "Gwen..I…" He stuttered in surprise.

Gwen looked at Merlin in worriment "What!" she cried and rushed to his side. "Who would do this to Merlin!"

Arthur replied hastily "Bandits."

Gwen gave him a discouraging look "Arthur I've told you that if you keep dragging Merlin along on your hunting trips then he's bound to get hurt!"

"I didn't!" Arthur roared "He went into the forest himself to see a woman. Then a group of bandits appeared and then the woman did sorcery to cast them away and another appeared out of the trees and shot an arrow at him with a crossbow!"

"How do you know this?" Gwen asked.

Arthur blushed "Eh..I followed him."

Merlin chose this moment to speak. "It's okay Gwen, I'm fine!"

Gwen grabbed his hand "What were you thinking going into the woods alone Merlin!"

Merlin grinned in response "I wasn't thinking clearly…"

Gauis in that moment decided to interrupt their small banter. "I'd like you all to leave please so I can tend to Merlin's wound."

Arthur was hesitant for a moment before he nodded and took Gwen by the arm. Gwen was blushing as they headed for the door and glanced back only once as they left. "Get better Merlin" she called. "We'll be back soon to see you…"

Merlin nodded in their direction but a haze had begun forming in front of his vision.

He had lost a lot of blood.

Even though he knew he was not going to die from the blood loss, he was still weak which was not entierly healthy. He knew that although he was immortal that didn't mean he could not still feel pain.

Oh and it hurt!

He glanced up to Gauis who was fussing over him as always. He could feel the cold air on his chest and realised that he was shirtless, though he didn't remember ever taking off his shirt.

A dark glaze swarmed over him as he looked up at Gauis once more and he fell unconscious.

Gauis began a small healing spell over Merlin once Arthur and Gwen had gone from the room.

"Oh, my boy!" he sighed.

FEW HOURS LATER…

Merlin groaned as he woke and turned to see Gauis next to him.

"Gauis?" he questioned as his vision was still a bit hazy.

"Welcome back, Merlin."Gauis replied with a smile.

"Where's Arthur…Gwen?" He asked as he rubbed his eyes.

"They have left. I will call them back when I'm done here." He reached for Merlin.

"What…what are you doing" Merlin asked as he quickly tried to sit up.

"Fixing you" Gauis said with a raised eyebrow and checked the bandages that covered Merlin's side.

"Oh.." Merlin said as he remembered that he had been wounded.

"So what is going on between you and Arthur? He seemed so…concerned about you." Gauis asked as he handed his ward some mint tea after finishing his check-up.

Merlin smiled weakly "Nothing that a good for nothing servant would do for his prince." He sat up and sipped at the mint tea that Gauis handed him and lifted his shirt to look at his wound.

"You healed me…using magic? Why?"

"You were going to die Merlin, I had no choice. I couldn't bare losing you." He sat on the edge of the bed.

Merlin nodded "Thanks…" his voice broke and he placed the tea down beside him. "I don't know what I would do without you to guide me."

Gauis sighed"You worried me Merlin. Don't do that again."

Merlin smiled "I don't plan these things."

"I hope not." Gauis laughed.

"So Arthur?" Merlin asked.

Gauis nodded "Arthur was here earlier and seemed to be crying over you….so what happened out there?"

Merlin moved his legs off the bed but wasn't sure of what to say.

Should he tell Gauis that he went to look for Finna?

He probably already knew.

He had told him not to go after all.

"We. We were attacked by bandits, that's all. I was just unlucky this time."

"We?" Gauis questioned. "What's this about an old woman?"

"Finna." Merlin said. "She wanted to give me something that will help me save Arthur. But then I was wounded and Arthur arrived…"

Gauis bought his hands to his forehead. "After I told you not to make contact with her you disobeyed my instructions?!"

"She knew my name Gauis. She called me Emrys! She said that she needed to give me something!..."

Merlin stood up, his legs slightly shaking "….and I'm going to find her again!"

"No Merlin! " Gauis pushed him back down onto the bed. "You need to regain your strength."

"Gauis!" Merlin groaned as he laid himself back on the bed. "She's out there right now, waiting for me!"

"We can deal with her later. For now you need to rest."

"Gauis..." Merlin moaned again and tried to get up off the bed again. "This could be the only chance I have."

"It's too risky. I won't allow you. Not while you are barely strong enough to walk. Arthur will stay with you if you want while I'm gone."

Merlin scowled "Fine." Then sat back down on the bed, his arms crossed and wrapped around himself.

He knew he was acting like a complete Prat.

"But..." he mumbled.

"No arguments please. Now rest."

Gauis left the room, allowing Arthur to enter.

"Hey Arthur.." Merlin smiled as his friend entered the room.

"Hi…" Arthur replied, rubbing his arm and blushing slightly. "H-How are you feeling?"

"Okay. Just dizzy." He muffled

"…Yeah…Could be better…" He moved to sit on the end of the bed, making it squeak.

"Well soon I'll be back to cleaning your clothes and making your room" he blushed.

Arthur looked away to hide his embarrassment. "er…about before…when I said those things…"

"It's okay Arthur, I understand." Merlin blushed again and looked down at the floor, twitching his thumbs.

"I meant every word.." Arthur said as he blushed but looked straight into his eyes.

"Well…" Merlin stuttered and thought back to a few hours ago.

Had Arthur said anything to him?

He did recall something being said but didn't know if it had been real or not.

He looked up at Arthur once more "Ehh…What did you say exactly?"

Arthur blushed more. "I said I…uh" He looked away. "…I said I love you…"

Merlin's face swarmed with a red blush "Well…eh" he looked at the ground and glance up to Arthur "Never knew you cared so much for me. I'm just a servant."

"…I can't help that… I wish I could change that…but I can't…" He said in defeat and looked to the ground.

Merlin moved his hand to Arthur's knee "It's okay, I mean…I know that it could never happen. I mean Uther's King…and one day you will be the king and I.." He glanced back up to Arthur, staring intently "I don't want to interfere with that. You don't have to change for me Arthur. I'll always be your servant…until the day I die."

Arthur smiled and moved closer to his friend then leant in for a hug, making the bed squeak more as he moved.

They wrapped their arms around each other, content in that moment and smiled at the squeaking of the bed.

The silence was broken suddenly by Arthur as he spoke.

Arthur spoke "When we met…"

Merlin drew away "Yes. What about it."

"It was the first time that I saw you…" He stuttered and his voice quivered.

Merlin smiled "You were being a complete Ass. Making a clear Prat of yourself!"

Arthur nodded in agreement and continued to speak in a muffled tone.

"…I'd never seen anything so perfect, and I remember thinking that I had to have you or I'd die…."

"…and I felt so peaceful…and safe."

Merlin could feel the tension in the air as Arthur spoke.

"When you became my servant…I didn't expect to fall for you."

Merlin nodded and leaned in as Arthur spoke to him.

"….I realised that all along I've been waiting for you…your everything to me, Merlin.

All these years that we've put ourselves on the front line and fought against the evils of Sorcery. I could never have asked for a better Friend to fight against it with."

Merlin swallowed hard at that earlier comment and his stomach dropped in a spiral of fear. The sorrow and guilt that he felt in the moment seemed to consume him. If Arthur ever found out about his secret then he would have never felt this way towards him. He would have been burnt or executed on the spot. Now, years onward it was becoming harder to hide his pain from the world and to keep his secret. Merlin tried not to show his discomfort as Arthur continued to speak.

"….I believe that I've come to realise that… I couldn't bear to lose you. Never again…do you promise me. Never again put me in that position."

Merlin flickered his eyelids in surprise and he blinked a couple of times before speaking. "I'll try my best. Trouble just seems to find me…"

The tears had begun forming in his eyes as Arthur continued to speak. These words that he was hearing he thought he would never hear were coming from his friend. He had to keep himself from breaking down right there and then.

"…I learnt on that day that we met that no matter what happened from that day on, nothing could ever be that bad…"

"…because I had you..." Arthur wiped he tears from his eyes and sniffed as he tried to control his emotions.

Merlin bit his lip at that last comment as the despair began to build up once more.

That was when Merlin realised that Arthur was speaking to him as himself. He was revealing himself and of how he had felt for him after all of these years they had known one another. He felt as if he had been stabbed in the gut at this realisation. His secret had become the only thing keeping his true self from his friend. How much he wanted to confide in Arthur about his destiny and of his magic.

Merlin couldn't stop himself and so he flung his arms around Arthur's shoulders.

Arthur looked surprised at his sudden need for attention but also brought his arms around to squeeze him tighter.

"…I wish I could do more…" Arthur whispered.

Merlin sniffed and buried his head in the gap between Arthur's neck and his chest. Tears began to pour from his eyes and he sobbed into Arthur's chest.

There had been so many times in his life when he had wanted to do just this. Now that he had been given the chance he couldn't stop himself.

_I'M NOT CRYING! _He thought annoyingly, as another sob escaped him.

Arthur began to laugh at Merlin's clear difficulty to hide his emotions.

Merlin thought himself to be silly and pushed Arthur away playfully. He wasn't going to let all the years of his suffering to resurface now. He wiped the tears from his cheeks and smiled once more. The smile was a genuine as he could manage and Arthur looked convinced.

"I'll always be by your side Arthur. Protecting you, as I've always done."

Arthur pulled him closer to his chest again. "As will I…we are soulmates."

Merlin laughed "And I'll always love you… for you."

Arthur smiled "Nothing can ever change that."

_Thank you all for your support. If you have any ideas for the next chapter than feel free to review or PM me. The next chapter will be a 'Magic Reveal' chapter that I have already planned. Though if you have an opinions or suggestions then feel free to in-put. Thanks _


	3. Deserted place

Fanfiction: Part 3

Merlin's heart warmed at the embrace and he was pleased to hear Arthur say this to him. These were the words that he had wanted to hear for years. Even though it didn't change anything he still felt comforted to know that Arthur truly did care about him.

He wasn't just his servant.

He was his friend and a loyal companion and that was how it was supposed to be.

That was how he wanted it to stay.

For once in his life he was just happy to be loved, whether that be by Arthur or Gauis. However the happiness was suddenly torn from him when he remembered his soul purpose and mind sickening secret.

He was a sorcerer.

He knew that if Arthur ever found out that he wouldn't know how to react, and he didn't know how Arthur would react to his secret which had been plaguing him for years since he arrived in Camelot.

Arthur seemed to of noticed his distress. "W-What's wrong? Did I hurt you…?"

"Nothing. No. I'm okay..." Merlin sniffed as he drew away, his gaze on the floor and tears in his eyes.

Arthur tried to help wipe away Merlin's tears gently with his thumb. "Tell me what's bothering you..."

Merlin shook his head slowly and shifted away. "No, I-I can't"

"Why?" Arthur asked as he moved closer.

Merlin couldn't reply. Anything that he tried to say hurt too much and he quickly closed his mouth. Somehow in that moment he found the words and dreaded saying them. "I can't-I…you wouldn't understand…"

"What wouldn't I understand?" Arthur looked confused and glared at Merlin.

"It's complicated."

Arthur laughed "So am I so what is it?"

Merlin glared back at Arthur before growling "I'm not telling you Arthur so stop BADGERING ME YOU CLOTPOLE!"

"Well…if you just tell me I WOULDN'T HAVE TO ASK!"

Merlin was not doing this, not now.

He stood up and speed walked to his room, his feet scuffing the floor as he moved to his chamber, not wanting to look back at Arthur's more or less confused and angered expression. He spawned himself onto the bed, his face buried in his pillow. He hoped that Arthur would have the decency to leave him alone.

He heard Arthur approach him from the other room and groaned again.

That was when he suddenly felt a warm and much unexpected body press against his back "…Just tell me…"

Merlin face blushed and he angrily kicked Arthur off with his shoulder and one leg "Go away!" he drowned.

Arthur bent down to press his face into Merlin's neck. "…Rest Well..." he said and quickly left the room with only one glance back.

_He hoped that would be enough to make Merlin feel better and warm up to telling him whatever he was keeping a secret._

Merlin had shivered at Arthur's presence and was also slightly confused of his emotions. He hadn't really wanted Arthur to leave him. Now that he was alone he groaned and turned over to stare at the wall, a hand resting on his forehead.

That was when a thought came to him.

Now was the perfect time to go out looking for Finna.

He hurryingly leapt from his bed and packed a few things into his satchel and ran out the door, towards the forest as the sun slowly began to set.

LATER THAT NIGHT

Gauis walked into Merlin's chambers. "Merlin?" he called.

Merlin was nowhere to be found. In fact he was in the forest at the moment with his satchel swung over his shoulders, trudging through the trees at a fast pace.

'_Finna'_ he called with his mind as he walked through the trees. He wasn't getting any reply so decided that maybe he should call. It was a really imbecilic idea that now Merlin looked back on, he could of thought differently of doing. He called out, his voice echoing through the trees "Finna!"

That was when the trouble started.

A group of bandits approached Merlin from out of the shadows of the trees beside him.

At first Merlin hadn't seen the bandits emerge but he stopped when he saw Finna being held by one of the more beefy men. He stood where he was as Finna called to him in his mind. "Move or they'll see you!"

Merlin nodded and ducked quickly to hide himself behind a bush. He crouched in the shadows and watched as the bandits came towards him.

He knew who these men where and he knew who they were looking for.

They were Morganas men.

They were looking for information on Emrys.

They must be here to find Finna so that she could reveal his identity.

He needed to act fast.

He was just about to chant a spell when a sharp object poked him in the upper back. "Don't move or you'll die…"

Merlin froze but turned his head slightly to see who had spoken. One of the bandits had found him hiding in the bushes and stood before him with his sword jabbed into his back. It was hard and painful but it wasn't enough to break through the skin, which Merlin was thankful for.

He didn't want to have to go back to Gauis and explain his injuries.

He had promised Gauis that he wouldn't do anything like this again.

"I mean you no harm." He said softly as he rose from the bush and turned to face the bandit.

"Empty the bag" The bandit said simply.

"Why…"

"Do it BOY or I'll RUN YOU THROUGH with tis here SWORD!"

Merlin chucked his bag down towards the bandit's feet. "There, take it"

The bandit smiled and rummaged through the bag and its contents but still keeping a firm arm on him.

When he seemed satisfied he said "Alright…then what are you doing here…"

Merlin went for the more obvious answer. "Just travelling"

"You…lie!" The Bandit glared and jabbed him again with the sword.

""No, I'm definitely travelling.." he smiled innocently.

That was when three more of the bandits arrived with Finna in their meaty hands.

Merlin glanced over to her and pretended that he was just being curious with the appearance of the new visitors. What he could see was that she was clearly distressed from being captive and very scared. Her hair was tangled and her wrists were bound, including her mouth which was wrapped with an unusual fabric, for all Merlin knew, it could have been a scarf.

He didn't want to have to think of what they were going to do with her once they received the information they needed.

He was just lucky that the bandits didn't know that he was the one they were searching for.

Merlin was so deep in his thought that he hadn't noticed the two of the bandits sneaking behind him. They grabbed him from behind with tight grips. "HEY!" Merlin said in surprise and tried to bat their arms away.

The bandit's pushed him down on his knees, forcing his head down.

Merlin tried to resist but thought better of it when a knife appeared beneath his jaw. After all, he didn't want to provoke them or do anything stupid, which seemed to be a daily occurrence.

The bandits pushed him down further and forced his head up again to reveal his neck. Merlin glanced over to Finna and noticed that she was receiving the same treatment.

"What are you doing?...what do you want with me?" he growled in direction to where most of the bandits stood.

When there was no answer from the bandits holding him Merlin began to panic.

What if they already knew his identity?

Had Finna told them already?

If that was the case then why hadn't she told him yet of her confession?

Merlin knew that if the bandits knew who he was then they would have taken him straight to Morgana and they would have expected him to use magic to defend himself. Maybe they didn't believe that he was Emrys. Merlin knew that if he used his magic now however, it would become clear and he would have sentenced himself to the command of Morgana. He called out to Finna using his mind, maybe she would have the answers.

"_Finna..did you reveal my identity?"_

"_No Emrys, I would never do such a thing. I vowed to never speak of you to another living soul."_

"_Then why are these bandits so interested in me?!"_

"_They probably think you're a spy for Arthur. Don't worry about them. They will release you. You're no use to them."_

"_How can I not worry in a time like this? These are Morgana's men! She's practically at the doorstep of finding out who I really am. Now that they have you…"_

"_I will never reveal your secret!"_

"_How do you know that you can keep that promise?"_

Finna feel silent and Merlin watched as one of the bandits marched toward him. "YOU can leave."

Merlin nodded and tried to not reveal his surprise. He rose to his feet before glancing back at Finna. "What about her?" he asked.

"She's not your concern! Now get out of here before I change my mind."

Merlin peered over to Finna with a straight expression.

"_I'm sorry…I can't…"_

"_Its okay, Emry's. I'm strong. Morgana won't get anything from me."_

"_I'll come back for you. I'll find you. I promise."_

"GET MOVING!" One of the bandits shouted and swung his sword in Merlin's direction.

Merlin jumped away from the swing and fled in the direction of Camelot. He couldn't believe his luck in escaping. He was worried about Finna. It was his fault that she was captured and it was his fault that she would probably get tortured. He felt torn inside and guilty that he had let this happen. He almost thought about following the bandits, if he told Arthur of his discovery then surely they would plan a rescue. Neither a less there was a chance to find Morgana and to deal with her once and for all. They couldn't let go of that chance. He would rescue Finna, he had promised her that.

When he returned to Camelot he found the front gate un-guarded.

The castle was deserted.


	4. Why were you in the cupboard?

Fanfiction: Part 4

Merlin opened the door to Gaius's chambers.

"Gauis?" he called in a deep concern as he scanned the room, only to find it empty with only a few things out of place.

He thought as he entered the room and began pacing._ Where was everyone?_

_They couldn't have all just vanished in the last few hours!?_

Merlin began to come up with all of the most logic reasons or tragedies that could have taken place while he was gone.

_Had there been an attack?_

_Where was Arthur?_

_What could have possibly attacked Camelot to cause everyone to vanish?_

_Was there a sorcerer?_

_Was it just himself that was affected. Had he been put into a trance of some sort that he hadn't become aware of...?_

Merlin didn't know the answer but decided that it would be best to check the rest of the castle, just in case.

He decided that Arthur's chambers would be a good start. If Arthur was still there then they could figure out this together.

He ran towards Arthur's chambers looking as he ran for any mysterious clues he could pick up. "Arthur!" he called as he flung open the strong double doors.

As he entered the room he had half hoped to find Arthur sitting at his desk reading through papers with no idea that the castle had been deserted. However he found no one once again.

Merlin ran his hands through his hair as he paced he room. He was beginning to freak the heck out. How could have everyone in Camelot disappeared over just a few hours? It had only been a few hours right…

Merlin suddenly heard a thud from the closet opposite him. He looked over to the cupboard where the sound had come from, he was sure that he had heard a noise coming from within Arthur's cupboard. He paced slowly over to it, half believing that the cause of this catastrophe might very well be hiding in the cupboard that was before him.

"Arthur..." he mumbled in hope that his friend had decided to hide in the cupboard. But that would be absurd. Why would Arthur hide in his cupboard…unless...

Merlin grabbed the handle of the cupboard and swung it open with his hand held out in front of him.

Arthur burst out of it, knocking Merlin to the floor and landing awkwardly on top of him with a grunt.

"Merlin!?" he said in surprise.

"Arthur!" Merlin laughed and smiled as he scrambled to his feet again.

"Don't we get into weird situations...?"

Arthur grunted in reply and reached for Merlin's hand as he tried to stand.

Merlin reached down to grasp Arthur's hand and helped him to his feet before asking "Why were you hiding in your cupboard?"

Arthur paced over to his bed and sat down on it, straightening his shirt down with one hand as he eyed Merlin curiously. "Gwen. She locked me in when some Griffins raided the castle, taking everyone."

"But…it was unlocked..."

"It was locked, Merlin. Surely I would have gotten out if that were the case. I'm not as stupid as you."

Merlin ignored Arthur's usual insults and mocked. "Gwen got you in that cupboard..."

Arthur nodded "Yes, Merlin I think we've established that already. She was panicking and pushed me in that cupboard before locking it. Then a griffin burst in and snatched her….where the only ones left."

Merlin was horrified. "What do you mean we are the only ones left?" He looked around again. "Where are the others? Where did they go? Where are the griffins?"

Arthur shrugged and slumped on the bed. "There was nothing I could do…"

Merlin moved to sit next to Arthur on the end of the bed. "Arthur, we'll figure this out. We'll find them…"

"How can we if we don't know where they are?" he said sadly in defeat.

Merlin hadn't thought of that. "Well…think of it like hunting….we'll find tracks…ask people…someone will bound to know…"

"Everyone is gone Merlin!" Arthur stood up to face him.

"We'll find them" Merlin protested. "We have too."

Arthur turned away and shook his head as he backed into the corner of the room.

"Don't give up Arthur!" Merlin said as he watched Arthur. He had never seen him this uncertain. Usually Arthur would be fully willing to charge into danger. Especially when the lives of others were involved.

Tears began to fall down Arthur's face as he looked down.

"You're going to be okay, Arthur" Merlin said as he shifted toward him.

Arthur sobbed and turned away his face.

"Arthur…"Merlin said in confusion. "You're acting weirdly…"

"I'm fine…" He stared at the floor.

"Then let's go and find our friends!" Merlin said hastily and leaped up from the bed.

He began to pack Arthur's close and sort through the cupboard for other supplies.

Arthur stood where he was, not watching Merlin but starring off into the distance. _What was so interesting about the floor?_

Merlin sighed and grabbed Arthur's arm and pulled him over to the cupboard. "Find some clothing for yourself. Do something yourself for once, prat..."

Arthur stood there, his gaze clearly still fixed on the floor.

Merlin muttered something under his breath that sounded like one of his normal insults before grabbing Arthur's shoulders and shaking him roughly back and forth. "ARTHUR! You TOAD!"

Arthur woke from his trance and his eyes travelled up to Merlin's. "It's my fault…"

Merlin stopped shaking him and looked down to were Arthur had been gazing moments before, unsure of what he should say.

"It's not your fault Arthur, you had no choice. Gwen didn't know you would be locked in. I mean you're okay which is what's important. You're not harmed…"

"But what about Gwen?!"

Merlin placed his hand back on Arthur's shoulder, encouraging him. "We'll save her, all of them."

"You can't guarantee that can you…"

Merlin sighed "No, but we should hope so..." he glanced into Arthur's face. His expression remained the same, drenched in guilt. "Now. Let's pack."

"Where are we meant to look for starters?"

Merlin's face fell, he hadn't thought of that. He was used to Arthur taking charge and coming up with most of the ideas. Usually he just acted in the moment when he was needed.

"Well, I guess. We will track them down"

When his friend turned away from him again in defeat Merlin couldn't believe this was the same Arthur that he had known for years. "I promise Arthur." He added firmly.

"How"

Merlin knew he was hopeless at tracking and knew that Arthur wouldn't be able to cope. Maybe, just maybe Arthur could however take control of the situation when the time came. He didn't want to have to reveal his identity, but if they didn't find any tracks or clues that would lead then to their friends then he would have to do something. It was times like this when he needed the wisdom of kilgarah, a riddle might have been helpful enough.

It did mean that he would have to tell Arthur the truth in order to save Camelot. So many times had he been put in this position, however things hadn't ever gone down that pathway. It seems that his fate had turned many times during his journey as Arthur's loyal manservant and loyal protector. He would have to hope that Arthur understood when the time came. Merlin had almost blurted out his secret right then as Arthur stood before him in confusion.

He thought of what to say. "Okay…let's go look around the rest of the castle first…maybe we'll find something that will be helpful."

Arthur slowly nodded as hope returned to him. "Okay…"

Merlin smiled as he noticed this, "Okay. Let's go…"

**Thanks for all of your support. In the next chapter I have planned a character death. Aww I'm such a cruel and cold-hearted person. Thanks for all your guys reviews. I'm not sure how long this fan fiction is going to go but I have it all set out, pretty much. As I said before, it is based on a fan fiction that one of my friends and I wrote. We have heaps of them… which means for you guys that I'm going to be writing a lot more! This is my first Merlin/Arthur fan fiction and I'd love to receive that same support and encouragement from you guys that I see so many other Author's receiving on this site. Anyways… If you guys have any opinions or questions then feel free to ask me and I'll answer you, no problem! **


	5. I'll always love you

Fanfiction: Part 5

"This is hopeless" Arthur growled.

"Don't give up hope Arthur…" he replied sternly and paced down the hall looking for clues that might help them find their friends.

Arthur sighed deeply. They were getting nowhere.

Merlin kept glancing down the halls. This was hopeless.

It was like Camelot had been empty for centuries.

He was so close to just using his magic. Even his dragon lord skills would be useful at this point as they were getting nowhere. The problem was that Arthur was with him.

Arthur grabbed his shoulder "wait…"

Merlin looked at him in annoyance "What?!"

A faint scream came from the other side of the castle.

Merlin looked at Arthur as they raced towards the cry "was that…a girl?"

Arthur speed up and raced ahead. "GWEN!"

Merlin's heart lurched and began to race, he knew that voice. "GWEN!" he yelled as they raced towards the scene.

"Gwen!" Arthur ran ahead.

Once they turned the corner out into the front courtyard they saw poor Gwen being torn apart by a griffin.

Merlin screamed "GWEN!" and ran forward towards were the griffin hovered over her body. Without a thought Merlin picked up a spear lying next to a window and yelled at the top of his lungs "bregdan anuweld gafeluic!"

The spear soared towards the griffin, engulfed in a blue substance and pieced the beast in the chest.

The creature swayed before it fell to the ground dead beside Gwen's form.

Merlin couldn't believe what he had just done, he had just preformed powerful magic in front of Arthur. His hand was still stretched out before him and he shook in fear and shock…his eyes flew to Arthur.

Gwen lay on the ground, bleeding out slowly from her wounds. Arthur stood in bewilderment "…Sorcery…?" He turned to Merlin. "You lied to me…?!"

Merlin stood with his eyes fixed on Arthur, his arm slowly dropping. He moved forward to Gwen slowly, his heart thumping in fear and shock of what had just occurred. His eyes glanced back to Arthur again "Arthur…I"

He didn't know what to say.

"You called them here didn't you?! THIS WAS ALL YOU'RE DOING!? YOU MURDERED GWEN" Arthur bellowed.

Merlin raised his hands and shook them "NO! NO! Arthur…I would never go against Camelot. I would never hurt you Arthur, You're my best friend!"

"HOW COULD YOU MERLIN! YOU KNOW THE LAWS!"

"I can't help it..Arthur I-I"

"I should kill you right now…you don't deserve to live…how..how" he moved forward to his servant, his eyes blazing.

"Arthur..stop..I"

Merlin's fear rose inside him and he backed away as Arthur approached with his hands in front of him in case Arthur launched onto him. His dreams had prepared him for this possible reaction.

"YOU DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO SPEAK! YOU L-LIED TO ME!"

"NO…"

"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL DAY?TELL ME! WHERE!"

"I-I was in the f-forest!..."

"YOU WERE TALKING TO MORGANA WERENT YOU! HA I BET YOU TWO ARE FRIENDS"

"No…Arthur listen…I could never be like her…I'm not…"

"YOU ARE A SORCERER!"

"NO ARTHUR…I'm your friend. I'm loyal to Camelot."

"YOU are a TRAITOR!" Arthur glared.

Merlin swallowed and the tears flowed.

"Arthur wait…"Gwen spoke softly from where she lay.

Merlin swallowed and his Adams apple bobbed as Arthur called him a traitor. It hurt like knives to hear that from his friend. He never thought that his secret would be revealed this way. This was surely the worst way to show his secret to Arthur. He had just killed a Griffin, no wonder Arthur believed him to be dangerous.

Arthur didn't know that magic could be used for good.

All his life Arthur had been told that magic was evil, so how could he judge him. It was Uther's fault that Arthur believed that magic was evil. Now he would have to pay the price. Arthur would not let him live. Friendship couldn't be powerful enough to override the laws of Camelot…unless he left before Arthur said anything. He had thought about leaving years ago and…it would be so easy. Before he could make that decision however he heard Gwen's call and rushed to her side.

"He tried to save me Arthur…"she smiled weakly. Tears began welling in Merlin and Arthur's eyes as both men approached her.

"…Gwen…" he sobbed.

Merlin felt the tears slide down his cheeks and he wiped them away as he bent over Gwen. "You're not going to die Gwen!" he sniffed.

"…no…"Gwen smiled. "My time has come…" Arthur knelt opposite Merlin and beside Gwen as he watched as she said her goodbye's.

Merlin shifted closer "NO, Gwen I can save you!" "Hang on…"

Arthur looked at Merlin in anger "Don't touch her!" he roared and flung his hands away.

Gwen's eyes started to close. "…Arthur…I'm sorry"

Arthur realised that Gwen had said her farewell and quickly took her hand "Goodbye Gwen…I'll miss you and I'll always love you"

"NO GWEN!" Merlin yelled as he put his hands over her wounds and began chanting spells. There were so many wounds... Every spell was painful for him as he knew that he was just proving to Arthur how he had lied all these years.

Arthur reached out to grab his hands and stop him "Leave her..."

"…Just let me go…"Gwen whispered to him.

"No!" Merlin yelled and placed his hands back on Gwen's wounds. "You're not going to die Gwen, I need you…Arthur needs you!" He chanted more spells, the tears rolling down his face and clouding his vision.

Arthur grabbed Merlin's wrists "…It's okay" he said softly as he cried.

"No Arthur! I can save her…she..." he chanted more spells, the wounds slightly healing but the extent of her injuries were fatal. She had no chance of survival, not even with the most powerful warlock leaning over her could save her. Merlin's hands quivered and shook as he laid them onto Gwen. His magic felt weak….he wasn't powerful enough to save her. She was going to die…and it was all his fault.

"Gwen… I need you..." he said again and dropped his face to her side.

In that moment Gwen passed and her breathing grew silent.

She was dead.

Arthur moved over to crouch beside Merlin and held onto him tightly, his hands wrapped around his torso.

Merlin sobbed into Arthur's shoulder as he hugged him "I'm sorry…" '_I tried'_

He felt as if he had died himself. Here he was crying into Arthur's shoulder. Arthur's hands wrapped around his back in a tight grip. It was a comfort but also a warning. Arthur had the chance to kill him, so why wasn't he doing just that. It wouldn't be hard to break his neck in that moment. Maybe he didn't have the strength…or maybe he just wished for some comfort. Merlin knew that his time was up. He no longer had a reason to live.

What more did he have to live for?

Arthur seemed to have sent himself into a trance. He had realised that with the death of Gwen he was now truly alone. There was no one to keep him company as Gwen had done.

What more did he have to live for?

He realised that he was holding onto the body of someone who was sobbing into his shoulder. He opened his eyes to see Merlin in his arms, bawling himself silly. When had he lent in to hug him…this sorcerer. How had he let his emotions over take his beliefs. Merlin had betrayed him…then why was he still holding onto him. He realised that like Gwen Arthur couldn't bear to lose Merlin. Hugging him to his chest seemed the only way to ensure that he was safe.

Arthur whispered into the air his final goodbye.

''Gwen…I will miss you. Everyday. But I trust what we built. I hope that I still reside behind your eyes. So when those eyelids open once more, your memories of me will come alive again. My memories of you. You were mine once, I watched you blossom but now I have to let you go…but I'm not sorry I loved you, I will never be."

**I hope this was as emotional as I thought it seemed when I wrote it. If you found it boring..then that's okay because remember it's the first fanfiction that I've dedicated myself to so it's going to be bad. If you have any questions then feel free to ask and I'll answer. Thanks **** next chapter will be up soon.**


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